How Do I Regulate My Nervous System?

Understanding Nervous System Regulation: More Than Just Chill

When we hear about nervous system regulation, it's easy to imagine reaching a state of perfect calm, where nothing fazes us and we glide through life without anything alarming us. 

Nervous system regulation is far more nuanced than most people realise. 

If anything to me, this sounds like Spiritual Bypassing. 

It’s normal for us to have emotional responses to life. A healthy nervous system can full express the range of emotional feeling and yet not feel overwhelmed by it.

However many people’s nervous systems are either stuck in a heightened fight flight state and acctually become addicted to overwhelm and stress, OR stuck in functional freeze, where we often can’t feel anything, yet procrastinate and feel stuck in life.

The Polyvagal Theory: Mapping the Terrain of Our Responses

The polyvagal theory provides a fascinating insight into the complexity of our nervous system. It suggests that our autonomic nervous system operates in three distinct states: ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal. These states correspond to our social engagement system, fight-flight response, and shutdown mode respectively.

When we're in a state of ventral vagal activation, we're socially engaged, calm, and connected. However, stressors can quickly shift us into sympathetic activation, triggering the familiar fight-or-flight response. Alternatively, overwhelming stress can push us into dorsal vagal activation, where we enter a state of functional freeze or shutdown.

Getting Stuck in Survival Modes: Fight, Flight, or Freeze

In our modern lives, it's not uncommon to find ourselves stuck in one of these survival modes. The constant barrage of stressors, whether they're work deadlines, relationship issues, or financial pressures, can keep us perpetually on edge or leave us feeling immobilized.

Navigating Nervous System Regulation with Compassionate Inquiry

Nervous system regulation isn't about eradicating stress or numbing ourselves to our emotions. Instead, it's about cultivating the capacity to navigate our internal landscape with resilience and awareness. It’s also about creating safety within our body to feel. This can come from sitting with someone who can ‘hold space’ for us - science now describes this as “interpersonal neurobiology”. When connect to each other at the level of our nervous systems. This is why we can pick up stress when we walk into a room. If our parents and caregivers were always in a heightened or frozen state, that is what we adapted to as a childn.

Sitting with another adult in a calm state does wonders for us to be able to feel safe enough to explore our own triggers, emotional responses and beliefs. 

This is where Compassionate Inquiry, a therapeutic approach developed by Dr. Gabor Maté, comes into play.

Compassionate Inquiry invites us to explore our inner experiences with kindness, curiosity, and non-judgment. It encourages us to inquire deeply into our thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations, uncovering the underlying beliefs and patterns that may contribute to our stress responses and emotional reactivity.

By practicing Compassionate Inquiry, we can develop a greater understanding of ourselves and our nervous system's responses to stress. We can learn to recognize when we're being triggered into fight-flight or freeze mode and explore the root causes of these reactions with compassion and curiosity.

I’ve completed the year long Compassionate Inquiry intestie training as well as the mentorship additional training and this is what I incorpate into my 1:1 sessions with people

The Role of Somatic Practices

When it comes to Nervous System reglation and emotions it’s often important to move. Very commonly as children we might have been told to hold our emotions in, where shamed for our emotions, or told to “sit still” even when we were expereiencing heightened emotions.

We might feel angry at someone internally, but have trouble expressing that anger, due to years of suppression.

Emotions don’t just disspear they stay stored in our body and impact our nervous system state until we move through them. 

Somatic practices offer powerful tools for regulating the nervous system and reconnecting with our bodies. Techniques like somatic shaking, pushing against a wall, or screaming into a pillow can help discharge pent-up tension and activate the body's innate self-regulation mechanisms.

Somatic Shaking: By intentionally shaking the body, we stimulate the autonomic nervous system's natural response to discharge stress and tension. This can help reset our nervous system and bring us back to a state of balance.

Pushing Against a Wall: Pushing against a wall with our hands or leaning into it with our body can provide a sense of grounding and containment. This simple practice can help regulate arousal levels and foster a sense of safety.

Screaming Into a Pillow: Sometimes, the best way to release pent-up emotions is to give them a voice. Screaming into a pillow allows us to express our feelings in a safe and contained manner, helping to discharge excess energy and tension.

Incorporating these somatic practices into our daily routine can support our journey towards nervous system regulation. By tending to our body's needs and honoring our emotional experiences, we can cultivate greater resilience, presence, and well-being.

Grounding Techniques: Grounding exercises involve bringing awareness to the present moment and connecting with the physical sensations of the body. Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or simply focusing on the sensation of your feet on the ground can help anchor you in the present and regulate your nervous system.

Gentle Movement: Engaging in gentle movement practices like yoga, tai chi, or qigong can help release tension, increase body awareness, and promote relaxation. These practices emphasize mindful movement and breath awareness, which can support nervous system regulation.

Self-Massage: Self-massage techniques, such as using foam rollers, massage balls, or simply using your hands to knead and massage areas of tension in the body, can help promote relaxation and release stored tension. Paying attention to areas like the neck, shoulders, and jaw, where tension commonly accumulates, can be particularly beneficial.

Breathwork: Various breathwork techniques, such as diaphragmatic breathing, alternate nostril breathing, or box breathing, can help regulate the autonomic nervous system and promote a sense of calm. Experimenting with different breath patterns can help you discover what works best for you in different situations.

Mindfulness Practices: Mindfulness involves bringing non-judgmental awareness to the present moment, including sensations in the body, thoughts, and emotions. Practices like body scans, mindful eating, or loving-kindness meditation can help cultivate mindfulness and support nervous system regulation.

Expressive Arts: Engaging in expressive arts practices such as drawing, painting, dancing, or journaling can provide a creative outlet for processing emotions and releasing tension. These practices allow for self-expression and can help integrate emotional experiences on a somatic level.

Nature Connection: Spending time in nature and connecting with the natural world can have a grounding and calming effect on the nervous system. Whether it's taking a walk in the woods, sitting by a body of water, or simply spending time in a garden, immersing yourself in nature can help reduce stress and promote emotional well-being.

Incorporating these somatic practices into our daily routine can support our journey towards nervous system regulation. By tending to our body's needs and honoring our emotional experiences, we can cultivate greater resilience, presence, and well-being.

I have many practices in my Spiritual Nutrition Community that are examples of the above and when working with clients one to one I often share the importance of these practices between our sessions. It’s all about what finding what works for you.

Hopefully this helps you understand more about what Nervous System Regulation really means and how you can incorporate it into your life. 

Belinda Matwali