Solomon's Paradox: You Are The Answer

In my line of work I totally live by the Solomon Paradox when working with clients.

I’m curious have you heard of it?

The context for this parable is based on the story of King Solomon from the Old Testament. God appeared to Solomon in a dream, asking what Solomon wanted from God, and Solomon asked for wisdom in order to better rule and guide his people. And so…

"God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore. Solomon’s wisdom was greater than the wisdom of all the people of the East, and greater than all the wisdom of Egypt. He was wiser than anyone else, including Ethan the Ezrahite—wiser than Heman, Kalkol and Darda, the sons of Mahol...he spoke three thousand proverbs and his songs numbered a thousand and five. He spoke about plant life, from the cedar of Lebanon to the hyssop that grows out of walls. He also spoke about animals and birds, reptiles and fish. From all nations people came to listen to Solomon’s wisdom." (1 Kings 4:29-34)

But here is the paradox: Solomon was great at giving other people advice, terrible at giving it to himself. His personal life was a shambles. His poor parenting gave rise to his son, Rehoboam - one of the cruelest tyrants in the Bible. He had many pagan wives and concubines (totalling 700 wives and 300 concubines), amassed 666 talents of Gold, created several enemies, and properly pissed off God.

This is an archteypal pattern (Solomon's Paradox), where people who are good at giving advice to other people often struggle to give good advice to themselves. This paradox was studied by psychologists Igor Grossman and Ethan Kross whose research revealed two things. One was that people “display wiser reasoning… about another person’s problems compared with their own.” And the other key point was that, when we try to distance ourselves from our own problems — we somehow are much better at making sensible decisions.

When we go to see a therapist or a coach or anyone for advice or 'wisdom', they are inevitably always missing out on billions of gigabytes of context about our lives. The truth is that the best person to give us advice, the only person who has ALL the context, is ourselves. But to give ourselves advice, we have to create a psychological distance. And here is one way to do that...

Imagine you are dialoguing with a much older like 95 year old version of you. This version has ALL the context of your life, and has the wisdom and perspective that comes from being at the end of life. This person can give you better advice than anyone else. You can get an app to design a photo of an older vesion of you and print it out, or use your imagination. Have a dialogue with this persoin in your mind or on paper. Whatever you are not sure about, ask them and be open to listen to the wise answers they have to share with you. It really works!"

This is why in mentoring and even my astrology readings it’s always about empowering YOU. No one else has your experience and context. It’s also why yoga nidra visualisations that can include visiting an older wiser version of you can be mind-bending-ly powerful!

If you appreciate this approach of self empowerment, working with subconscious and superconscious and trauma-informed ways, then reach out for an astrology reading or mentoring with me.

Astro Curious to learn more?

Watch my free Intro to Astrology webinar where I dive deep into this topic as well as how to cast your own astrology chart.

You can also join my meditation and astrology Spiritual Nutrition Community.

Or book in for a reading or astrological mentoring here.