What is Individualisation?

For each of us having a human being experience, it comes with the most unique set of gifts, talents, quirks and intricacies. However for most of us growing up in our modern culture in modern society we are very much brought up in a way that we think is “normal”. Everybody is striving to be “normal” to “fit in” and in our schooling and other systems we believe that there is one normal benchmark that everyone should be achieving. That there is only one way of thinking, feeling and doing things and we’re all tested against that way and marked accordingly. As such we develop personalities that try to fit in with this normal somehow, and often blurs who we really are underneath. We begin a love hate relationship with normal - wanting to be ourselves but also to fit in and feel part of something. The personalities we develop as a coping mechanism to this phenomena of ‘normal’ means we can behave in certain ways to receive attention, to be seen and validated. But in doing so often loose sight of our most real and authentic self.

There is also a consensus that we are not really taught to ‘think for ourselves’ (or rather listen to our intuition) but rather follow the standard path that the conditioning of our society would like us to tread. Our society has told us we need to go to school, you should eat these foods (especially diary and meat that most governments subsidise), you should have your hair like this, at this age you should go to university, then buy a house get married, work work work work work and pay all your taxes and then retire blah blah blah. 

So due to the lens of societal conditioning you may think well there’s nothing wrong with that. 

However this one kind of “normal” and overall “life path” is down to homogenisation discourages our individualisation. Individualisation is a part of being a healthy human being, to be in our authentic self, independent thinkers and living out our truth, our soul purpose and feeling a strong self of Self (Self as in our essence, not in an egoic way). So individualisation is like a flowering of the potential of what it is to be a human being.

In some spiritual science the terms used when in Individualisation means to be existing from you “individuality” really means to be living from your “individual being” or essence nature. To be shining out the unique gifts and talents through the human body you’ve been incarnated in this lifetime. To think and act from your individuality, your intuition - to go against the norm (not just for the sake of it, but because of what feels right for you.)

We are multilayered beings with personality on the outer edges, then our individuality, and at our centre most core is the divinity that is shared amongst the centre of all beings.

Most of us actually live from the level of our personality. The personality has carefully emerged and been created to help all of us exist in this society and the societal conditioning. So the personality for example may be more worried about people pleasing them actually living out its own gifts and talents -  that’s an extreme black-and-white example just to make things a little bit clearer to understand. Our personality will always ‘worry’ about what others think, or may make decisions based on what they think others will want us to do.

The personality is often afraid of not being included and not being loved and not being part of the fabric of society the way it is today. So to pull away from the “normal” and do something which feels right for you that may seem strange, uncomfortable or really discombobulating depending on the level of conditioning. 

It takes a lot of courage and often happens when we are on our spiritual journey and realise we are more than our personality and so much more powerful than we release. Connecting to the deeper aspects of us gives us access to huge amounts of power, intuition and wisdom. 

The process of individualisation is beautiful and often happens very much in tandem with our spiritual journey as we start to awaken to the true self and who we really are and our purpose here on earth.

I believe meditation plays a huge role in this process as it allows us to get glimpses of our deepest self when everything else drops away.  Other tools that can be useful along the way are Human Design and Astrology. I incorporate basics of these sciences along with advanced meditation practices and Compassionate Inquiry in my 1-2-1 personal sessions should you want to explore this further for yourself. 

Some of what we can cover in spiritual mentoring sessions:

  • Individualisation

  • Sub Personalities

  • Coherence between different aspects

  • Deepening Meditation

  • Personalised practices

  • Neuroplasticity and working with self limiting beliefs

  • Astrology and Human Design Basics to understand your energy

How these things have helped others:

  • Remember their essence, especially after a major life change

  • Ground after a relationship breakup and tune into their inner compass

  • Find ways to enjoy work in a soul aligned way

  • Learn to listen to their true self, and speak from this place (takes practice!)

  • Understand energetics when it comes to their relating patterns

  • Infuse spirituality into their work to take it next level and feel amazing

  • Begin to listen to their intuition over strong emotions 

Belinda Matwali